Question # 596: I have been married for a year, alhamdulillah. Before I was married, I often fell into zina. I used to be an ignorant Muslim who sinned a lot. At some point, I started acquiring knowledge. I stopped many sins, but not all of them. In the past, when I was ignorant, I also planned sins but didn’t even know what repentance entailed. When I had the knowledge, I continued to plan certain sins because it is impossible for me to stop planning all sins at once. After that, I saw a video in which it was said that for someone who plans a sin with the thought “I will repent afterwards,” it is not enough. You must repent for the sin, the planning, and taking it lightly. I understand this completely. I repented for zina, because I planned it with the thought “I will repent afterwards.” But when I repented, I still planned other sins, such as trimming my beard, going to mixed-race places, etc., but no more zina. The condition for repentance is stopping, regret, and the intention never to do it again. If I make the intention never to plan zina again and have accepted my repentance, does this mean that I must stop planning all sins, because for me, this is now impossible? When I also showed repentance for planning zina, etc., I still wanted to talk to women via social media, but only with the intention of getting married. We would call and talk, and then we would meet up for a drink; if it didn’t click, we would stop contact. That is how I met my wife. At that time, I also had women on social media who dressed quite naked, etc. I didn’t want to delete this yet; I thought it had no influence on repentance. My question now is: is my repentance valid? I have never fallen into zina again after repenting. But I am still planning other sins now, and decided beforehand to simply continue talking to women, but I said I will never commit zina again. The reason I ask this is because I follow the Hanbali madhab. According to it, a nikkah is not valid for someone who has committed zina without repentance. So, was my repentance valid back then? Do you also have to hate a sin to be forgiven? I have committed zina often, which has caused my heart to harden, sort of. I did feel regret, but only mild regret. This is due to myself. But I didn’t really feel hatred towards the sin because I used to enjoy it, but there was regret, just not much. I did realize that it was haram and that I was breaking Allah’s rules, and I really wanted a valid nikkah. Knowing that according to the Hanbali, a nikkah without repentance is not valid caused me a lot of stress, and then I decided to stop. Sorry for the long message. I look forward to your reply.

bismi-llahi r-raḥmani r-raḥīm,

Assalamu ‘laikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

All praise and thanks are due to Allah (سبحانه و تعالى), and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم).

Dear questioner,

First of all, we implore Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) to help us serve His cause and render our work for His sake.

Shorter Answer: Tawbah from a sin requires cessation, regret, and a firm resolve never to return; hatred of the sin is not usually listed as a separate condition, nor does repentance from one sin require abandoning every other unrelated sin at the same time. Repentance from zina is valid even if a person is still working through other sins. As for nikah, the Hanbali madhhab has a stricter discussion regarding repentance in cases of zina, while the majority of Sunni schools do not make repentance a condition for the validity of the marriage contract. Sincere regret, even if the emotional feeling is not very strong, is sufficient for valid tawbah when the other conditions are present.

Long Answer: The scholars of Ahl al-Sunnah are agreed that sincere tawbah (repentance) from a sin committed between a servant and his Lord consists of three essential conditions:

  • Cessation (al-iqlaʿ) – stopping the sin immediately
  • Regret (al-nadm) – feeling remorse for having committed it
  • Firm resolve (al-ʿazm) – intending never to return to it

These pillars are: giving up the sin, being determined not to commit it again, regretting having done it. One of the scholars said: In order to repent, it is sufficient to feel true regret, which leads to giving up the sin and resolving not to go back to it, for they both stem from regret and are not to be regarded as conditions alongside regret. (See Fath al-Bari)

Regret is an important condition of repentance, or it is the cornerstone of repentance. It was narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn Ma‘qil ibn Muqarrin said: My father was with ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud (رضي الله عنه) and heard him say: I heard the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) say: “Regret is repentance.” (Narrated by Ahmad; classed as sahih by al-Albani). This means regret is the core; it naturally produces the giving up of the sin and the resolve not to return.

Is it required to “hate” a sin in order for repentance to be valid? No, the scholars do not list hatred of the sin as a separate condition. The above hadith points out that regret cannot take place unless one attains knowledge that leads to it, and it cannot but be followed by resolution. You stated that you felt regret and genuinely wanted to stop; this regret, even if it felt mild due to the hardening of the heart from repeated sin, is still regret. A person who has fallen into sin repeatedly may find their emotional response dulled, but as long as the intellectual and volitional acknowledgment is present (thinking that, I know this was wrong, I broke Allah’s command, I do not want to return) — the conditions of tawbah are met. You are not required to feel a specific emotional intensity or “hatred” toward the sin.

Al-Qari, [(a Hanafi scholar; d. 1014 AH)] said: ““Regret is repentance” because it leads to the other essential parts thereof, namely giving up the sin, resolving not to go back to it, and restoring people’s rights wherever possible… What is meant is regret for having committed the sin because it is a sin, not for any other reason.” (Mirqat al-Mafatih). If this regret is sincere, then the sinner will give up the sin and resolve not to do it again. Thus his repentance will be complete and will fulfill all the necessary conditions.

Does repenting from zina require stopping all sins simultaneously? The answer is no; repentance from one sin does not require that you simultaneously cease all other sins.

It is essential to repent from all sins; if a person repents from some, his repentance from the sins from which he repented is valid, according to the scholars who follow the right path, but he must still repent from the rest as well.

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim said: “What I think regarding this issue is that repentance from a sin is not valid if one persists in another sin of the same type. As for repenting from one sin whilst committing another that has no connection to it, and is not of the same type, that is valid, such as if a person has repented from riba but has not repented from drinking alcohol, for example. His repentance from riba is valid.

But if he … has repented from consuming hashish but is persisting in drinking alcohol, or vice versa, then in this case his repentance is not valid. This is like one who repents from committing zina with one woman, but he is persisting in committing zina with another woman, and is not repenting from that; or he repents from drinking intoxicating grape juice [wine], but he is persisting in drinking other intoxicating drinks. In reality, he has not repented from the sin; rather, he has turned from one type thereof to another type. And he is unlike the one who has turned away from one kind of sin to a sin of a different type.” (Madarij As-Salikin).

However, in your case, you stopped zina entirely, not just with one person, and you have not returned to it. Your repentance from zina is therefore treated as a valid, standalone tawbah, separate from your other ongoing weaknesses (trimming the beard, mixed gatherings, etc.), which are lesser in category.

As for the validity of your nikah, the Hanbali position needs careful understanding. You described repenting from zina, genuinely intending never to return, and then getting married. You have never committed zina again. “The Hanbalis are of the view that the marriage of a zaaniyah (woman who committed zina) is not valid unless she repents, but they did not stipulate that the zaani (man) has to repent in order for the marriage to be valid.” (Al-Insaaf; Kashshaaf al-Qinaaʿ)

This is a critical and often misunderstood point. According to the Hanbali school itself, the repentance condition as it relates to the validity of the nikah applies primarily to the woman, not the man. So even if one were to argue your tawbah was incomplete at the time, your nikah would still be valid from the Hanbali perspective as the man. However, the majority position amongst the Sunni schools of law, the Hanafi school (as well as the Shafiʿi and Maliki schools), rules the permissibility of the marriage of two adulterers (Tabyeen al Haqaiq, al-Zayla’i). Repentance as a technical requirement to validate the marriage is not established according to the majority.

Repentance means regretting it and resolving not to go back to that sin. If you regretted falling into ḥaraam and resolved to give it up, and got married, then this is repentance on your part.

By your own description: you felt regret, you sincerely resolved never to commit zina again, and you have upheld that for over a year of marriage; you have fulfilled the conditions of tawbah from zina. In Sha Allah. The other sins you were still struggling with (trimming the beard, mixed gatherings, following women on social media) are separate matters and do not invalidate your tawbah from zina.

Further, you mentioned previously planning zina with the intention of repenting afterward. The scholars do condemn this as a serious matter, because it treats tawbah as a tool to enable sin. However, the key question is whether your subsequent tawbah, after you came to knowledge and genuinely resolved to stop, was sincere. If a person commits sin knowing that he is disobeying Allah and going against His command and exposing himself to punishment, then he repents sincerely, Allah will accept his repentance and forgive him, no matter how great his sin was. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said: If a person repents from sin, Allah will forgive him, whether it was shirk or otherwise. Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) says in the Qur’an: “Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” (Soorah al-Zumar, 39:53).

Ibn al-Qayyim said: If a person repents sincerely, his previous bad deeds will be erased and the reward for his good deeds will be restored for him.” (al-Waabil as-Sayyib)

The earlier planning and the cavalier attitude toward repentance are themselves sins that you should seek forgiveness for; but they do not permanently block sincere future tawbah. Sincere tawbah wipes out what came before it.

Speaking to women through social media with a genuine niyyah (intention) of marriage, then meeting them with a chaperone arrangement, while not ideal in terms of Hanbali madhhab, is a separate issue from the validity of your tawbah from zina. Your tawbah from zina is evaluated based on whether you genuinely stopped zina, felt regret, and resolved not to return. These other matters (social media interactions, contacts with women in halal framing) are a separate discussion about what is permissible in finding a spouse, and do not retroactively undo a sincere tawbah from zina.

Your nikah appears to be valid, In Sha Allah, and you should have comfort in this. The fact that you have maintained your commitment to never return to zina for over a year, and that your question is driven by care for the rights of your wife and the legitimacy of your marriage, speaks well of the sincerity of your tawbah.

Reliable scholars state that repentance is a matter between the sinner and his Almighty Lord. If one shows remorse and regret and seeks Allah’s Forgiveness, hopefully, Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) will forgive them.

Your target should be to continue to work on the remaining sins in your life, the beard, the mixed gatherings, guarding your gaze, not out of fear that your marriage is in doubt, but because the journey of a believer is one of continuous tawbah and improvement. As Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah said: “This is why a person is commanded to repent whenever he sins. Someone said to his Shaykh: ‘I have sinned’. He [the Shaykh] said: ‘Repent.’ He said: ‘But I returned to (committing) the sin again.’ The Shaykh said to him: ‘Repent.’ The man said: ‘Until when?’ The Shaykh said: ‘Until the Shaytaan is grieved’”

May Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) accept your repentance, bless your marriage, and make you and your wife among those who enter Jannah together.

(The above reply is based on various answers on similar topics provided by:

  • Islamqa.info
  • Islamweb.net, a website belonging to the Ministry of Awqaf and Islamic Affairs in the State of Qatar;
  • Islamqa.org)

Allahu A’lam (Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) knows best), and all Perfections belong to Allah, and all mistakes belong to me alone. May Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) forgive me, Ameen.

Wassalaam