Question # 281: Assalamu’alaykum my question is: can’t a husband help his wife in housechores??

Bismi-llahi r-raḥmani r-raḥīm,

Assalamu ‘laikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

All praise and thanks are due to Allah (سبحانه و تعالى), and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم).

Dear questioner,

First of all, we implore Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) to help us serve His cause and render our work for His sake.

Shorter Answer: The basis of conjugal life is mutual understanding and co-operation with each other. All men should follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم) who used to serve his wives, patch his sandals, sew his garment, milk his goat, among other chores. Helping one’s wife in the housework is considered among the noble manners and high moral standards.

Long Answer: The basic Islamic principle with regard to the relationship between the spouses is that it should be based on each treating the other with kindness, because Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) says in the Qur’an: “Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind” (Soorah an-Nisa’a, 4:19) Hence, the basis of conjugal life is mutual understanding and co-operation with each other. All men should follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم) the leader and the head of all human beings who used to patch his sandals, sew his garment and conduct himself at home as any man does in his house. Helping one’s wife in the housework is considered among the noble manners and high moral standards.

This is not at all, as some people think, a shameful act from the husband nor a deficiency in his character, or a decrease of his status. It is confirmed that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم)  said:” The best among you are the best to their wives, and I am the best to my wives.” (Reported by Al-Tirmidhi; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jami‘)

Abu Hurairah (رضي الله عنه) narrated that The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said: “The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character among them. And the best of you are those who are best to your women.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi, graded hasan)

The guidance of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) toward his wives is the best example. Imam Al-Bukhari reported that al Aswad said:” I asked Aisha what the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) used to do in his house? She replied:” He used to serve his wives, and when the time for prayer came he used to go out for the prayer.”

Imam Ahmed reported that Aisha (رضي الله عنها) said:” I was asked about what the prophet used to do in his house? I replied:” He was an ordinary man, he used to sew his garment, milk his goat, and serve himself”

Allahu A’lam (Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) knows best) and all Perfections belong to Allah, and all mistakes belong to me alone. May Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) forgive me, Ameen.

Wassalaam