Question # 165: Salaam ALK I do have children; I am divorce 13 years never get married never date took care of my children Alhamdhulilah my boys grown but I don’t feel like getting married again am scared I lost the trust with men in don’t know if it’s gonna be problem in Islam
Bismi-llahi r-raḥmani r-raḥīm,
Assalamu ‘laikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,
All praise and thanks are due to Allah (سبحانه و تعالى), and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم).
First of all, we implore Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) to help us serve His cause and render our work for His sake.
Shorter Answer: It is not obligatory for a woman to remarry after divorce, except when she is afraid of committing a forbidden deed or fears that immoral people may take advantage of her, if she remains single. In such case, it is preferable (mustahabb) to get married to someone, who is religiously committed and of good character, to protect her religion and her chastity.
Long Answer: Islam encourages marriage and asking Allah for a righteous spouse, because of the many benefits and noble purposes of marriage, which include: seeking to have righteous children and form a Muslim family; protecting oneself from falling into haram or into the traps of the Shaytaan; and strengthening the bonds between Muslims through ties of marriage. If someone proposes to you who is religiously committed and of good character… then you should accept him. This is better for you than remaining without a husband…
In al-Sharh al-Kabeer, concerning obligatory marriage it says: “If a person fears that he may commit fornication, it (marriage) is obligatory on him.” In Fath al-Wahhaab, it says: “For the woman who has (physical) desires, marriage is sunnah, just as it is for the one who needs maintenance and the one who fears being taken advantage of by immoral persons.”
In Mughni al-Muhtaaj, it says: “(Marriage) becomes waajib (obligatory) if a person fears fornication…” Then concerning the ruling with regard to women: “If she needs to get married, i.e., she has physical desires, or needs maintenance, or she is afraid that immoral people may take advantage of her… it is preferable (mustahabb) for her to get married, because this will protect her religion and her chastity, and she can enjoy what her husband spends on her, and other advantages.”
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his book al-Mughni: “Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory. The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste (i.e. get married). This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”
There follows a useful summary on this topic by Imaam Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allah have mercy on him), from his book al-Mughni: “…Ibn Mas’ood said: “If I only had ten days left to live, and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I was able to get married, I would do so, for fear of fitnah (temptation).”
(The above reply is based on various answers by Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid on the topic)
Allahu A’lam (Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) knows best) and all Perfections belong to Allah, and all mistakes belong to me alone. May Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) forgive me, Ameen.